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Many times in my life the day after has been an 'Oh my God I can't believe I did that,' followed by anxiety and guilt. Surprisingly, after committing such a taboo act against society's standards, I felt no guilt, no anxiety, just an odd equilibrium.The rest of the day was busy with a few houses to show and it was almost five before I got home.Michael and Frederick were playing some killing video game as usual. Seeing my son through the eyes of a lover made everything different. He was no longer my shy, geeky son, but was now a sexy, well-equipped stud who I loved with all my heart and soul.I loved him as a son.I loved him as a lover.I loved him as the sweet young man he had become.I loved him as the dominant Master he was capable of transforming into.I loved him unconditionally and even after less than one day the line between mother and lover was greying and merging into a murky mix of confusion.I left the boys alone and made supper even as I craved more of the powerful intimacy of. I don't deserve you Kirk. Jamal is crude and even mean at times, but I find myself drawn to him, perhaps it is because we deserve each other -- the powerful and abusive man and the woman who deserves no better than to be his whore.I hope now you can find happiness, real happiness, the kind of happiness you've never had with me and never would.We will have left by the time you read this. Please let me go. I will not contest a divorce. I have taken some clothes and a few of my personal things. Everything else is yours.Please don't try to find me. I am out of your life forever.MarcyA single tear appeared in the corner of his eye, then he turned, dropped the letter in the waste basket and quietly sat down to think.A few doors down the street Lamar returned from his first day as the new owner of Williams Construction. Jamal had provided the boy employment every summer, teaching him every aspect of the business, so Lamar had been totally prepared and eager to accept when his father first.
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